Odette

In other lands, the word "dancer" often brings to mind someone warm and familiar, a gentle presence that offers comfort along life's long road. When one mentions the same in Snezhnaya, however, the image conjured is a touch frostier. Odette Spessiva, prima ballerina of the Korolevskiy Troupe, appears on promotional posters wearing the same composed expression. Her gaze is calm and distant, her lips lightly pressed together, her face as still as a statue touched by frost. That cold reserve only makes the fervor of her admirers more striking. Their devotion is not difficult to understand. Odette possesses an impeccable physique, and her performances combine a cutting austerity with tremendous dramatic tension. Every step and every lift of her hand carries the precision of a finely cut gemstone, each movement catching the light with a brilliance that holds the eye. No one can witness such mastery without recognizing the effort behind it. The instant Odette steps onto the stage, every voice of doubt is silenced. Yet once the curtain falls, she rarely returns for an encore. Admirers fete her with flowers and praise, only to receive the briefest of replies. "Thank you for your support. See you again." Her brevity can easily be mistaken for deliberate aloofness, but Odette has no intention of putting on airs. Beyond the stage and its brilliant lights, other responsibilities await her. Her life is like the calendar on her wall, every space already filled, with not one blank spot left for herself. Should you glimpse, in the depths of a snowy night, a figure passing soundlessly by with a lightness no ordinary traveler could possess, you would be wise not to follow. Snezhnaya's nights are bitterly cold, and respectable citizens are already asleep behind shuttered windows. Those who venture out at such an hour rarely do so without purpose. Whatever the night demands of her, Odette is back at the theatre on time the following morning. From the rehearsal room come either the faint strains of music or the soft, muffled tap of her pointe shoes against the floor. Her reflection moves across the mirrored wall as she repeats the same lift and descent, every motion measured with metronome precision. As dawn brightens and the rest of the troupe begins to file in, they often pause at the sight of her. Had their prima ballerina been here all night?

At the close of every season at Snezhnaya's Korolevskiy Troupe, the arts pages of the major newspapers would invariably fill with impassioned commentary on Odette, the company's prima ballerina. "Perfection, polished to an icy sheen." One cultural paper repeated the verdict so often that it ceased to sound like criticism and became, instead, the epithet by which she was known. Tripolev, one of Snezhnaya's most celebrated critics, offered a more vivid appraisal. "Odette," he wrote, "dances like a dagger honed to perfection, slicing cleanly through the air. The audience can only marvel at the beauty of its edge and the precision of its motion, while knowing better than to reach out and touch it." For another dancer, praise of that sort might have proved a quiet liability. Audiences may admire beauty, but they are quickest to embrace the kind that feels warm, lyrical, and emotionally within reach. Beauty is easiest to understand when it seems willing to meet the viewer halfway. Odette, however, offered no such invitation. Of the passion and feeling audiences longed to glimpse in her, she yielded nothing — not even the heartfelt smile expected at the final curtain. Beyond the expressions demanded by the role at hand, her features remained cool and restrained, whether before the public or in private company. All her strength seemed to have been poured into the refinement of her art. She held herself to standards far beyond those expected even of a prima ballerina, and the result spoke for itself. What more was she obliged to give? Surely feigning emotion merely to please the audience was no part of a prima ballerina's duty. Odette, at least, did not believe it was. There was no shortage of stories about her. One of the best-known concerned a nobleman who paid a small fortune to reserve an entire row of first-class seats. After the performance, he waited for two hours at the stage door, an enormous bouquet of ice-blue flowers in his arms. What reached him in the end was not Odette, but a message from the theatre staff: "Miss Odette has already left by the side entrance." Another admirer poured ten pages of devotion into a letter. Odette answered with the same words as ever: "Thank you for your support." Had the handwriting not matched her signature exactly, anyone might have taken the reply for the work of another hand. Then there was the drunken admirer who blocked the theatre entrance, attempting through a stream of disjointed words to engage Odette in a discussion of ballet's influence on Snezhnaya. She made no move to go around him. She simply stopped and looked at him... "He stood frozen for several seconds," a witness later recalled. "Then, as though a basin of ice water had been thrown over him, he muttered something to himself, turned, and walked away." ... Odette neither dressed up her feelings nor softened the realities of life. There was no artifice in her strength. Clear and true, it held the same cold resolve and stubborn endurance as the frozen ground beneath her feet — a quality that resonated deeply with the people of Snezhnaya. Her manner remained unchanged, as distant as ever. Yet the line outside the theatre never dwindled, any more than the snow ceased to fall.

Even within the Korolevskiy Troupe, only a handful of people can speak freely with Odette outside of a performance. Vodyanitsa is, without question, one of them. Their acquaintance, however, began with little more than the practical demands of the stage: Arranging the program, preparing the costumes, and reassuring performers overcome by nerves before their first appearance. "Just as you practiced. Listen to the rhythm, remember the steps, and take them one at a time." Calm and almost expressionless, the prima ballerina offered the same advice she would have given in rehearsal, as though stepping onto the stage were no different from practicing for it. The performers exchanged uncertain glances, their questions passing silently from one face to another. Even so, their racing hearts began to settle beneath the quiet steadiness of her voice, as fresh snow settled over a field, smoothing away every hurried, faltering footprint. "All right, girls. Thump those chests and let your hearts race! You're going to have the time of your lives onstage!" The prima donna's voice rang out, exuberant and almost piercing, and her girls answered by thumping their chests, their faces flushed with excitement. Her voice surged through them like waves across the sea, gathering them into its current and carrying forward anyone brave and quick-witted enough to ride it. One by one, the performers filed onto the stage, leaving the two principals to rest backstage. Their own parts had already come to a successful close, and they had done everything they could for the performance. The final act belonged to the newcomers. For a time, silence held the dressing room. Then the music began onstage, its faint strains drifting backstage and breaking the stillness. A piece of honey candy slipped into the Water Imp's cup. It landed with the faintest plunk, like a pearl falling into folds of silk. "...It's good for your throat." That was all Odette said. She turned away and carefully retied her ballet shoes, leaving Vodyanitsa gazing absently into the sweetened hot water before her. Only later would the meaning of that small gesture become clear. Odette usually kept those candies for herself, saving them to restore her strength after long, demanding hours of training. The one she gave Vodyanitsa that day was the last she had. What Odette did not yet know was that Vodyanitsa possessed an exceptional gift for song. As a Water Imp, she scarcely felt any strain in her voice at all. At the time, however, Vodyanitsa was perfectly happy to accept a kindness sincerely offered, especially when it came from someone as clear and unblemished as a piece of fine ice. In Snezhnaya's bitter cold, after all, kindness was far too rare to be left unattended. The moment one found it, one had to gather it close. Otherwise, it might freeze solid before anyone could ever prise it open again. ... "I'm out of candy." "You're not. I put three boxes in your bag this morning — give me one." "You don't need it for your throat." "Then I need it to recover my strength." "From what? I was the one dancing." "I was singing too! You're supposed to say, 'Oh, dearest Vodyanitsa, your voice was so lovely I could listen to it forever,' and then give me another piece." "...What I can give you is my opinion, once the performance is over." "You smiled just now, didn't you? I saw it! You smiled! ... Wait, you're still dancing? Hey! Come on, that's enough. Let's go eat!" Vodyanitsa did not imagine it. For the briefest moment, her keen eyes caught the corner of Odette's mouth lifting into a smile. But Odette always replies thus when pressed: "It was simply the expression the role called for."

By the time Odette was born, the glory of the Spessiva family had long since faded. Little remained of it but a handful of yellowing portraits on the walls of the old house, each preserving the likeness of an ancestor who had once shone upon the stage. Her mother, Violetta, had only recently been cast in an important supporting role in a ballet, but her thoughts were already fixed upon the lead. When that day came, she decided, she would have a portrait of her own added to the wall. As though she had overheard the thought, little Odette suddenly began to wail from within her swaddling clothes, voicing her protest at the top of her tiny lungs. "Oh, forgive me, Odette." Violetta smiled and gently tapped the bridge of her daughter's nose. "Of course you'll be in the picture too... Better yet, we'll have a family portrait made, with all of us together." Thump, thump, thump... The heavy, even tread of military boots sounded beyond the door. It was a signal meant for this household alone, and Violetta knew at once whom it announced. Her husband was still at the threshold, stamping the snow from his boots, when she went to meet him with a smile. The old house was too large to keep properly warm. The fire in the hearth burned low, and the heating never quite kept pace with the cold. Yet in one another's arms, the family found all the warmth they needed. As Odette grew, that rhythm became as familiar to her as her father's face. Thump, thump, thump... It meant supper, stories, and the quiet certainty that the night ahead would pass in peace. Odette's father was a soldier, and he understood little of art. The scents of leather and gunpowder clung to him year-round, often mingled with a trace of the icy air outside. Even so, no one in the family made a more enthusiastic audience. Whenever Violetta practiced, he would pull a chair into the corner and settle down to watch. From time to time, he tried to follow the music with his foot, though his tapping rarely came anywhere near the beat. Violetta would laugh and call him "the man with the worst sense of rhythm in all of Snezhnaya." He never argued. He would only grin and chuckle, "But I'm the best at applauding in all of Snezhnaya." That, at least, was true. Whether Violetta danced a formal piece or merely hummed a tune and improvised as she went, he always greeted the end with thunderous applause. Bright and wholehearted, it would startle the birds from the windowsill and send little Odette into peals of laughter. She was still too young to dance. Instead, she slid across the floor in her socks, or stood atop her father's military boots with both hands wrapped around his fingers. He would take a step, and she would follow, tottering along like a fledgling still uncertain of its feet. "See?" her father would say to Violetta. "We have a little snow swan of our own." "At best, we have a little duckling," Violetta would reply with a laugh. "Snow swans keep their backs straight." At once, her father would crouch beside Odette and touch two fingers lightly to her back, "There we are. Back straight, little snow swan." Before long, play gave way to proper lessons. Violetta began teaching Odette the fundamentals in earnest: stretches, tendus, petits battements. They were tedious beginner exercises, repeated over and over, a hundred times and then a hundred times more. As a teacher, Violetta allowed no compromise. One misplaced foot meant beginning again. There was no room for bargaining. At times, the strain left Odette's eyes red, but she would only press her lips into a stubborn line and continue. Yet at the end of every practice, her father would be waiting in the doorway. "Well? What did my little dancer learn today?" Odette would repeat the new movement for him as best she could, still crooked and unsteady from having only just learned it. Whether she performed it well or poorly made no difference. His response was always the same: first came the applause, loud and solemn. Then he would crouch until they were eye to eye. "Wonderful," he would declare with complete seriousness. "One day, my daughter will be a prima ballerina." Violetta would rest her head lightly against her husband's shoulder, and the tension in her expression would at last soften into a smile. Odette was still too young to understand what it meant to become a prima ballerina. But she understood the pride in her father's face as he said it, and the quiet hope in her mother's smile as she looked at her. Without Odette even knowing it, the first small seed of a dream had been planted in her heart.

Odette had once believed their warm, peaceful life would continue as it always had. Then, one day, her father's footsteps failed to return. She waited through the first day, then the second, then the third... But when the sound of military boots finally reached the house, the tread was not his. Two Fatui soldiers stood solemnly on the threshold and placed a letter in Violetta's hands. The dancer, who could command every part of her body with flawless precision, could not keep her fingers from trembling as she unfolded it. Beside her, Odette rose anxiously onto the tips of her toes, straining to glimpse the words. All she managed to read was a single, plainly written line — one she would spend years wishing she had never seen. The house was utterly still that night, as though every sound had been taken from it. The next morning, Violetta went back to the theater's rehearsal room and resumed her routine. Then came the third day, and after it, the fourth... It was during the performance that Odette, watching from below the stage, saw her mother collapse. For one desperate instant, she told herself it was part of the choreography. Violetta never lost control. Perhaps the fall had been rehearsed. Perhaps Odette was still dreaming. Perhaps she had never truly awakened from the nightmare at all. Then the curtains descended in haste. Amid the confusion backstage, Odette caught a glimpse of her mother's face. All the radiance it had once held was gone, leaving behind only a deathly pallor. When the treatment was over, the doctor spoke with quiet regret. Violetta's injuries would heal in time, but even then, she would likely never again perform the most demanding steps. ... In the days that followed, the house began to change. The chair Odette's father had always occupied was pushed into a corner, where it gradually disappeared beneath a clutter of forgotten things. The newspaper he had once unfolded each morning curled at the edges and yellowed, left unread now that no one reached for it. Sometimes the fire burned low without either of them noticing, until the rooms grew no warmer than the frozen world beyond the windows. Odette and her mother would sit wrapped in blankets at opposite ends of the sofa. Between them, they left untouched the place where he had once sat. Neither ever moved to fill it. Though she could no longer demonstrate the movements properly, Violetta continued Odette's lessons from her wheelchair. She marked the rhythm by striking her cane against the floor: "Thud. Thud. Thud." Odette never cried out. Ballet had always drawn its beauty from pain, and so she endured hers in silence. She bound her blistered toes beneath layer after layer of bandages until, past a certain point, the pain dissolved into numbness. Whenever she paused to brush the sweat from her brow, she found her mother watching her. The same wound passed silently between them. Then both would look away. Violetta resumed the count, and Odette resumed the steps. Teaching and learning, they filled every hour that could not be allowed to remain empty. Because emptiness made room for memory. Then, one day, another rhythm entered the house. The unfamiliar click of heels brought the lesson to a halt. La Signora had come, at The Captain's behest, to offer condolences to Violetta. She was the Eighth of the Fatui Harbingers and had once served as Odette's father's commanding officer. As the visit went on, Signora's attention settled on Odette and the effortless agility with which she danced. "Mrs. Spessiva," she then spoke, "I have no wish to speak lightly of your grief. But you are now without an income, and a pension alone will scarcely be enough to raise a child. The Fatui could take her into our care. We are always willing to cultivate young talent with promise. In return, you would receive an allowance." Violetta refused at once. She needed no reminder of the dangers that accompanied the Fatui. They had already taken the husband she loved. The thought that they might one day take her daughter as well was more than she could bear. But Odette had overheard everything. She ran to her mother's side before the conversation could end. Though her voice was still unmistakably that of a child, there was nothing childish in her resolve. She promised she could do all that was required of her. She would be careful. She would remain safe. She would find some way to continue ballet alongside her training with the Fatui. Signora took the measure of Odette's clear blue-violet eyes, bright with a fire that seemed to cleave through the ice. "I can do it," Odette repeated into the silence. Her lips were pressed into a stubborn line, her expression fierce with determination, utterly heedless of the cost... Signora knew that look. The girl was already burning herself away, yet trying to disguise the ruin as strength... Signora regarded her with a cold scoff. Be that as it may, her pride would not permit her to withdraw the offer. "Then come along," she said. "Let us see how long that resolve of yours lasts."

By the time the mission was over, the sky was still shrouded in the same cold, lightless dark. Odette slid her dagger back into its sheath and gave herself a brief, impassive inspection. Her clothes bore no visible stains, and though her boots were damp, the moisture would not hinder her steps. Everything had gone as intended. The target had been frightened badly enough to remember the lesson. He would not dare cause trouble again. Snow hushed Snezhnaya at night, swallowing the sounds of the city and softening Odette's footsteps until even she could scarcely hear them. With nothing to break the silence, her thoughts were free to wander. They always found their way back to things she would rather have forgotten. This time, her mind caught on the final movement of the mission. To anyone watching, it would have seemed flawless. The blade had vanished with a swift inward turn of her wrist, every motion precise and controlled. Yet Odette knew the movement had not been entirely clean. As she drew the dagger back, there had been the slightest catch, and when her right arm returned to her side, her fingertips had traced a faint outward line. She knew what her hand had remembered — the final gesture of a ballet. The resemblance had not gone unnoticed. In the Fatui's evaluation report, her fighting style had been likened to ballet. Her mother, however, had seen the opposite flaw. Whenever Odette danced, she said, there was too little feeling in it. A dancer's grace slipped into her movements in battle, while the strength forged through combat shaped every step she took onstage. Neither had to be summoned. Both surfaced without thought, as naturally as breath and heartbeat, buried somewhere beyond conscious memory in bone and muscle. Blade and pointe had become two expressions of the same instinct. Perhaps Odette had never truly been divided among all those different identities. From beginning to end, she had always been the same person beneath them all, someone winter had frozen through to the bone, holding fast to whatever remained within reach. ... Odette slipped into the Korolevskiy Theater through the back door, as quietly as snow settling outside. She made her way to the rehearsal room, changed into her ballet shoes, and left the lamps untouched. Cold moonlight streamed through the high windows, cleaving the floor into two worlds, one pale and luminous, the other drowned in shadow. She danced between them, passing in and out of the shifting pools of light. Solitude like this was rare. Rarer still was time that belonged to no one but herself. The room offered no music, only silence. There was no measured tap of her mother's cane, no sound of her father drawing near. The only rhythm came from her breathing and the faint brush of her pointe shoes against the floor. With no choreography to obey and no audience to please, she allowed each movement to take shape on its own. Her turns grew faster until sweat and tears were indistinguishable upon her face. The dance became her resistance, her longing, and the only language in which she could give them form. And perhaps, had a snowflake drifted through the window and lingered there to watch, it would have found the rumors difficult to believe. In that moment, the prima ballerina of the Korolevskiy Troupe did not seem cold at all.

Few things in the world were dearer to Violetta than ballet. So when Odette chose to follow the same path, she found in her mother a teacher far stricter than any ordinary instructor. To the young girl, even a single word of praise from Violetta was a rare reward. Of all the lessons from those childhood years, one moment remained especially vivid in Odette's memory. It was the first time she completed a full turn en pointe. The movement wavered slightly, and the finish was far from perfect, but she had made it all the way around. As a rule, her mother would correct her the instant she stopped. This time, Violetta said nothing. She paused instead, the corners of her mouth lifting ever so slightly. "Good. You've improved quickly." Her father was on his feet at once, beside himself with delight. "Do it again! Wait, I have to—" He broke off and hurried to the cabinet, fumbling for the old Kamera kept on top. "Stay there! Don't move!" Violetta could only shake her head. "She isn't a wind-up dancer. How exactly do you expect her to stay like that?" The photograph came out hopelessly blurred. Odette appeared as little more than a smiling haze, while her mother had been caught with one hand raised to her lips, as though suppressing a laugh. Her father had not reached them before the shutter clicked, leaving behind only the hurried blur of his figure. The flames in the hearth, meanwhile, had been captured in perfect clarity. Even so, her father handled the photograph with all the care one might give a masterpiece and slipped it into his pocket watch. "Our most delightful family portrait yet," he declared with perfect seriousness. "It captures our little prima ballerina growing before our very eyes." Then he added, just as solemnly, "And there will be many more to come." Looking back, Odette remembered her childhood in fragments. Her mother's strict but patient instruction. Her father's applause, always waiting whenever she finished. The fire crackling in the hearth. And afterward, the three of them pressed close together on the velvet sofa, sharing a slice of Medovik so sweet it was almost too much. Her father always gave her the largest piece. Whenever she reached for it with both hands, her mother would tap her gently on the nose. By the time Odette saw that blurred old photograph again, it lay hidden inside a pocket watch stained with rust and blood. Her mother sat nearby in a wheelchair, gazing silently at the heavy snow beyond the window. Outside, the wind wailed as though it meant to drive the whole bitter winter into the room. Odette had never struggled to command her hands while dancing. Every gesture had always come with effortless precision and grace. Yet now they seemed to weigh upon her like stone. Gritting her teeth, she summoned every last measure of strength before she finally managed to force the watch open... There seemed to be no end to winter in Snezhnaya. The snow went on falling, smothering every hope, until spring itself felt like nothing more than a story.

Whatever childish innocence had once softened Odette's features was quickly worn away by life among the Fatui. Her days belonged to ballet, her nights to the Fatui's rigorous training. Between the two, she survived on whatever brief moments of rest she could steal. Her body warned her in stages. First came the stabbing pain in her ankles. Then her knees began to click with every leap. Even the bruise beneath her ribs, left by a blow sustained during a mission, showed no sign of fading. The pains gathered one after another, as though each had been waiting its turn. Odette ignored them and trained harder. When her bandages no longer seemed enough, she wound them tighter. When her protective gear failed to soften the blows, she added another layer. Whatever still hurt, she forced deep beneath the surface and buried under yet more training. Her mother noticed the sudden escalation in her regimen, and the anxious need to prove something that seemed to drive it. Yet no matter how often she tried to intervene, Odette dismissed the concern with a simple assurance that she was fine. She kept pushing long after perseverance had crossed into self-harm. In time, the pain grew distant, then faint, and finally — vanished. The first thing Odette noticed when she returned from training that night was the dark stain spreading through her bandages. Combat drills had run late, and exhaustion weighed heavily on her as she removed her cloak and looked down. The old wound had opened again. There was far more blood than usual. For several seconds, she watched it seep through the cloth. Detached and untroubled, as though the injured leg belonged to someone else. To make certain, she dug her fingers into the damaged muscle until it dimpled beneath the pressure. Her leg should have recoiled. But it did not. And she felt no pain at all. Without a word, Odette rebound the wound and sat for a long while in the dark. Slowly, the implications settled over her. She would never again have to dull her senses or shut away what she felt merely to endure. Pain could no longer bring either form of training to an early end. She could last longer now. The thought brought with it a faint sense of relief. At this rate, perhaps her dream of becoming the Korolevskiy Troupe's prima ballerina would soon be within reach. One ballet gave way to another as Odette spun and soared across the stage, tireless, tracing with her taut, pointed feet every vision that love had shaped. She moved effortlessly from one role to the next: the perfect lady, the noble princess, the waterbird graceful as frost at daybreak, the dancer ardent as the summer sun. She became Milady, beautiful as a peacock; Anli, companion to Reed Miller; Coppelia; Odelya. But none of them was Odette. — What, then, am I to make of my life? The question surfaced only after the curtain had fallen, spoken by a voice that existed nowhere but within her. — A new world will come someday — everyone says so. And if those who inherit it choose to retell my life upon the stage, who would I want to become in their eyes? She had no answer. Once, perhaps, the story might have begun with a peaceful home and a childhood filled with laughter — the sort of beauty a ballet demanded of its opening. But those days had receded beyond reach, farther away even than the glare of the stage lights. Odette stared into their pale, searing brilliance until it seemed her eyes might burn. Only then did she understand that she no longer missed the warmth they imitated, nor wanted the tenderness they pretended to offer. The only thing that truly belonged to her was pain — cold, bone-deep, and solemn as a howling snowstorm, almost sacred in its severity. Pain had shaped the person called Odette. It had tempered her through every trial and remained beside her longer than any other companion. — Yes. When the old world dies, let it remember that I refused to yield. — Let pain become the wings that bear me upward. I will climb higher than anyone has dared and look upon the dream even the snow swan has never seen. That, and nothing less, is what I desire. As that resolve settled within her, Odette narrowed her eyes and lifted her gaze to the light suspended high above the stage. It shimmered there, hazy and wavering, impossibly far away and yet almost within reach. And once again, she danced with everything she had, offering herself so completely that it seemed the performance might consume her body to the last. After the curtain fell, Odette returned backstage to find an ice-blue crystal forming in the cold glimmer. She picked it up in silence and studied the object resting in her palm. A Stellar Linchpin, if the stories she had heard among the Fatui were true. Yet it was nothing like the one she had imagined. It was cold and almost weightless, no heavier than a tear caught and frozen in driving snow. Whether it was pity, a blessing, or a curse, Odette could not say — any more than she could explain the loss of her sense of pain. She had never believed in tears, just as there were many things she did not believe in. Yet whatever this truly was, she knew she would accept it gladly. Her wings were everything that belonged to her. Even the frost and snow that rushed against them would, in time, become part of them. From that moment on, neither pain nor cold would hold her back. Pain would not make her hesitate before drawing her blade, and winter would not slow her beneath the falling snow. Odette lifted her gaze to the sky beyond the window. Snow settled upon cheeks she had long believed cold — and melted there in warmth.

...Thanks for all the support. You want an autograph, right? What do you want me to draw next to it? How about a feather? Oh, wait, you're not one of my fans? Guess I misunderstood. Lemme start from the top, then. I'm Odette, a ballerina with the Korolevskiy Troupe... Well, thanks for all the support, anyway.

Well, if that's all, I'm going to go rehearse.

If a simple response will do, why waste your breath on anything longer?

If only there were double the hours in a day... Hmm. Actually, make that triple.

The pitter-patter of the raindrops always makes me feel so serene. This kind of weather is perfect for dancing alone.

The most beautiful, serene moments are always the most fleeting.

The snow in Snezhnaya is always bitterly cold, and it never seems to end.

My hair... I'll fix it later.

...At least there wouldn't be a meet-and-greet in a place like this.

I'm warmed up and ready to go.

I'm not one for naps. Noon isn't a suitable time for training either, so I usually spend it reading through the scripts for our dance dramas. Hm? What about these letters? They're from my fans. Vodyanitsa practically forced them into my hand. She wants me to read through them for once.

Oh, is it time for dinner? I have to go on stage soon, so I'll just have a hard-boiled egg. I'll grab something else once the show's over.

...Missions complete, training quota met, new routine fully rehearsed. Not satisfied with my facial expressions, though. I need to practice some more in front of the mirror... Oh, is it that late already? Feel free to retire. I still have things to do.

Since the implementation of Project Stuzha, the size of our audience has been dwindling. While most people are struggling to get by, corrupt leeches continue to prey on the public. I refuse to turn a blind eye. I know I can't turn the tide on my own, but I still want to do what I can.

The memories of my past are forever etched into my mind. Like a film, they play on repeat in the dead of night... Suffice to say, having a perfect memory isn't always a good thing.

Relying on others for protection is like leaning on a thin layer of fresh ice. I don't pin my hopes on anyone but myself.

My sense of pain is quite dull. I often don't even notice I'm injured until the wound has already started to scab over. But, I prefer it that way. Whether it's dance rehearsal or Fatui special training, it's better if a trivial thing like my physical condition doesn't get in the way.

Once, during an intense training session, I developed frostbite in my feet and legs due to the extreme cold, and almost lost consciousness entirely. When I came to, the first thing I noticed was a bright light emanating from the Stellar Linchpin in front of me. But, I've never heard of Stellar Linchpins being able to awaken people like that. So if that didn't wake me up... then maybe it was some instinctual desire to survive...?

I treat every rehearsal as seriously as an actual performance.

You can bring out the sweetness of Rimecurrants by sprinkling them with a little table salt. Supposedly, the contrast helps amplify their inner sweetness. I heard that from a fan.

I'm indebted to Rosalyne, but there was also a time when I really hated her. She was exacting in her demands and incredibly strict. Freezing from the cold, collapsing from exhaustion, getting injured, falling sick... Those were all common occurrences when I trained under her. I used to harbor this naive dream that I just needed to make it as a ballerina, earn enough to support my mother, and then, one day, I would leave her and the Fatui in the dust...

After someone is gone, a lot of things are suddenly no longer worth saying. I could shatter this Cor Ignis in a heartbeat, yet that would make the pain and the misunderstandings it caused feel all the more ridiculous... Why is it only now, after all this time, that we finally understand each other?

Her Majesty the Tsaritsa is Snezhnaya's pillar of faith. Her duties keep her quite occupied, so she rarely makes public appearances. In fact, I've only seen her on a handful of occasions, but she always strikes me as an incredibly regal and solemn figure. No matter where her gaze falls, it is as cold and unwavering as a sheet of ice, one that no amount of time could melt.

She walks with an almost feather-light grace that would be the envy of any dancer. According to Vodyanitsa, she also has a hauntingly beautiful singing voice. Although, I suppose what we see and envy is the persona she projects on the surface. Who knows what untold pain lies underneath...

The children of the House of the Hearth think of her as their "Father." Hopefully, that will spare them some of the bitter chill and raging storms that life brings. A father's role is to protect, after all.

Lady Marionette's tea parties always used to put Rosalyne in a better mood. She was just as strict, but her tone was a bit softer. It was quite a noticeable difference.

The first time the Tsaritsa was coming to see one of the Korolevskiy Troupe's performances, Vodyanitsa was the one who told me. I replied with a simple nod of the head. She then proceeded to force a smile onto my face by pushing up both corners of my mouth, then made me repeat after her, "What. Great. News." Perhaps it was practice for appearing in front of the Tsaritsa, but I still don't think Her Majesty appreciates that kind of smile.

Whenever Vodyanitsa gets sick, she always gets so clingy and practically latches herself to my side... She says it's because she's scared of getting a shot or having to take bitter medicine, so she needs something to hold onto, and I suppose my arm is her instrument of choice. I have a high pain tolerance, though, so there's no reason to shake her off.

He could easily make a living on hunting alone if all he cared about was himself, but he still takes on odd jobs around the theater so he can help others who are suffering... I'm not surprised he joined the Rokot.

Hm... I suppose you could call him a "fan" of the theater. He comes to see me and Vodyanitsa perform often enough. But as soon as the show starts, he always buries his head in his notes, writing away about goodness knows what. It's hard to ignore, especially when the rest of the audience has their eyes glued to the stage. I wouldn't be surprised if there's more true appreciation for the arts in his scarf than his entire body.

Major Valeriy is a Fatui officer who's very strict about keeping things on schedule. I've heard he commands with a level-headed disposition that can also come off as quite terrifying... But we belong to different divisions, so we rarely have a chance to interact. Besides... I don't need anyone to remind me what I should be doing.

Don't be thinking she's some dainty, harmless butterfly just because of those wings. People may flock to her, but she's the commander-in-chief of the Druzhna — one of the fiercest predators on the tundra. Keep your eyes wide open, and don't be fooled by her smile.

You'll have to excuse me. My schedule for the day is quite packed, and I have rehearsal later, so if you want to chat, please keep it brief.

My mother came from a family of ballet dancers, and my father served in the Fatui. They met after one of her performances and quickly fell in love. It's a sweet story that would bring a smile to anyone's face, I'm sure. When I was little, my days were spent dancing alongside my mother, clad in one of the many beautiful tutus my father would buy for me. I had no worries... except perhaps for which piece of candy to pick from the candy jar each day.

Of course, before long, we received the tragic news that my father had died in the line of duty. My mother was devastated and ended up breaking her leg during a performance. Before this, life was sugary-sweet. But now, it felt like the candy jar was empty, and I was trapped inside.

After that, well... You know what happened. I've unpacked those memories so many times, they can no longer hurt me. Struggling against the hand that fate dealt me... It made me strong, and that strength is mine alone. I won't forget that.

I wouldn't say any of this to my fans, so it's a good thing you're not one. I already have too many versions of myself to maintain, and I prefer for them not to bleed into each other... Of course, in my heart, I will forever keep dancing toward perfection.

I've always loved ballet, and I do my utmost to give the best possible performance every time I'm on stage.

Honestly, I feel like small animals hate me. Vodyanitsa always makes me go with her to feed the stray cats around the theater, but as soon as I approach, they start sharpening their claws... Hm? That means they're excited to see me? Huh...

Right before closing, the salads at the dining hall are half-price, so I used to eat that a lot. Obviously, salads that have been left out all day don't taste as good as fresh ones. But something about the familiarity of it is quite comforting to me.

To be honest, I don't think there's any food I find particularly unpalatable. But, as a ballet dancer, I have to be strict about my diet, so all of my meals are carefully planned. I tend to avoid anything not included in that.

I have had quite a few performances these last few days. Perhaps a little more couldn't... Ahem, never mind. It's delicious. Thank you.

This is just one dish? It looks more like... a whole day's worth of food.

Uhm, no thank you. I'm watching what I eat.

Happy Birthday! I was trying to think of what to get you... I usually receive things like flowers, ballet shoes, and music boxes, but I doubt that's what you have in mind. How about you simply... make a wish, here and now? Ideally, something within my power to grant, of course...

Hm, not quite there yet... I need to train even harder.

Mm, my movements feel sharper. I should keep up the intensity.

My fouettés are now perfect. But now is no time to let up.

"Emotion is an indispensable part of ballet." I now understand what that means. Thank you for your faithful companionship and support. If you're interested in coming to my performance later today, here's a ticket.

Let's begin.

Shadow me.

Together.

Pas de deux.

Pirouette.

Hehe.

Waltz of the snowflakes.

Crystalline adagio.

Witness the snow swan's grace.

I don't need any of this. You keep it.

A journey is a lot like dance practice — every step counts.

Hard work pays off.

Not concerned.

Nothing but a scratch.

Still good.

You alright?

Let's switch.

Should have... worked... harder...

No. Gotta... stand... up...

So this is... what pain feels like...

...Hm?

Try harder.

That's it?

That supposed to hurt?

At the ready.

Need me to take center stage?

Where to this time?